So there I was writing Isaac’s Decision (I’m up to 4000 words now) when Emily told me she wanted to be interviewed. Without much ado, let me bring her in.
I wanted you to be the first one to see my disguise.
What for? A comedy routine?
What? No. This book isn’t a comedy. It’s actually quite serious. If I read the outline correctly, you have me crying at one point.
So what’s with your hand?
What? Haven’t you all heard of a fist pump in the year 2011? It’s a celebratory gesture. I looked it up online before I contacted you for an interview.
ROFL It just looks weird.
Okay. Fine. Let me change my location. Maybe that will make you stop laughing.
What the heck are you doing in this one?
Bringing myself some flowers.
I have to ask it. Why are you bringing yourself some flowers dressed as a man? And by the way, those flowers aren’t very attractive. I thought you had better taste than that.
It’s all part of my plan to get Isaac to talk to me. He won’t talk to me as Emily, so I thought he’d talk to me as Elmer.
Yeah. I wanted to stick close to Emily with my other name to keep it simple. They both start with E and have an ‘l’ and ‘m’ in the name.
Okay. And the flowers are dark because?
Oh, I figure men have lousy taste. It wouldn’t be believable if I picked something pretty.
Hey, what a minute. Are you in a cemetery?
There was a reason why I did a close up picture in this disguise. This makes me seem rather morbid. Plus, I knew you’d flip if you saw the pavement. I read your interview with April where you pointed out the car, blah, blah, blah.
To be fair, she was trying to run away from the book. I’m not a stickler for the historical stuff as long as my characters aren’t trying to abandon me while I’m writing a book.
I’m not leaving this story. I’ve been waiting for this story to be written ever since you wrote His Redeeming Bride. That was in 2009. Boy, were you long overdue to write this one!
I had other stories to write first.
But none of those are as compelling as my romance. I know. I’ve read the emails you get. It seems I’ve captured the hearts of many.
Nothing like an ego trip to get you through the day, right Emily?
Didn’t look that up online before you came? Yay! One point goes to the author. 😉 It’s the Larsons they like, not necessarily you. Anyway, let’s get a decent picture of you dressed as a man up so people don’t think I’m writing a horror novel because you with those dark flowers and creepy stare have “horror novel” written all over it.
Fine. I got one more. This is it. I’m not taking another. The mustache tickles, and I want to take it off as soon as we’re done.
That’s better, even if it is still kind of dark.
It’s cloudy out today. What do you want me to do? Call in the sunshine?
Fine, fine. Enough rambling about pictures. So, you plan to dress up like a man and pretend to be interested in you as Emily. What’s the point?
I have two very good reasons for doing this. Well, three. 1. My dearest friend in the whole world came up with this idea, and she’s never proven me wrong when she comes up with something. 2. Isaac will see that another man is interested in me, and I hope this gets him jealous. If he’s jealous, he might actually start paying attention to me. And 3. I might get him to talk to me as a man. Maybe he’ll tell Elmer why he keeps avoiding Emily…me… You know, the me that is Emily. Not Elmer. *scratches head* You get what I’m saying, right?
It’s probably one of those things where it’s easier to read it than to be told what’s going on.
Exactly. Just like when someone tells a joke but it’s not funny unless you’re there to see it.
You actually expect him to believe you’re a man?
I hope he does. I’ve been watching men carefully. The way they walk, the way they talk, what they talk about. They can be pretty disgusting creatures, you know. When one man didn’t think someone was looking, he scratched a certain part of himself. *shudders* That is something I never do.
Whatever you do, don’t watch baseball. They do that all the time, and right in front of the camera where millions are watching.
Be glad you live in a time when men pretended they didn’t have an itch down there. Anyway, what chapter do you think you’ll be meeting Isaac as Elmer?
I hope in chapter 3, but knowing you, you’ll wait to chapter 4.
Chapter 3 is where you study men, and I need to do a scene from Isaac’s point of view.
Really? What will he be doing?
I don’t know yet.
How can you not know? You’re coming to the end of chapter 2.
Most of the time, I only know what will happen in the next chapter.
Good heavens! *pauses* Can I make a suggestion?
Have him elope with me!
I can’t do that so soon in the book.
Because then it won’t be a full-length novel. You’ll take out at least 1/4 of it.
*sigh* Can you at least interview him so he tells everyone why he’s avoiding me?
You mean so you can read the interview and find out before he tells Elmer in the story?
Yes! No! I wouldn’t read his interview. It’s a secret between you and him and the rest of the world.
Sure, Emily. *rolls eyes* No dice. I’m not doing it yet.
You’re hard to deal with.
Don’t worry. You’ll like it when you find out the truth.
I’ve said all I’m going to say. Thanks for coming, Emily! *runs off before she can track me down*