I was going to do an update on my book writing, but I got sidetracked with this topic and decided to keep this post to one topic.
What I hope my obituary will say and my philosophy on life:
Ruth was one spunky chick. She didn’t wait for life to happen. She took the bull by the horns and made life happen. This is why she ended up going through the Internet dating sites and finally finding the man she ended up marrying and having four boys with. Refusing to conform to writing critique circles, she ended sentences with prepositions, used words like “was”, “watch” and “walk” (though her acts of rebellion were not limited to words that started with a “w”, that is all this writer can think of at the moment). Having a huge hang up on conformity, she went into self-publishing, daring the naysayers to prove that she was making a terrible mistake and would never, ever in a zillion years be considered “a real author”. She went on to write books she loved writing and died writing her next book. Her one big regret was that she didn’t live forever to continue writing more books to entertain (or torture, depending on who you ask) more people.
I know. An obituary? How depressing, right? But I was thinking of the life of Jane Austen who is idolized by a lot of people, and I read her bio. It’s depressing. Really, it is. First, her name didn’t go on her books until after she died. So she never got any credit for it while she lived. Sure, a couple family members knew it was her, but what good did it do her? Second, she didn’t get married. I understand some people are happier without a spouse, but I can’t imagine my life being any different from what it is today. I love being married and having kids. I think this is why I’m driven to write romance novels. My biggest goals in life were to be married, have kids (four was my ideal number, believe it or not), and be a bestselling author. I wrote that when I was 13. And today, it’s all come to pass. So, if I were to die today, I’d be fulfilled. But since I’m still kicking, I’ll keep on writing.
My mother used to say at her funeral, she didn’t want people to sit around depressed because she had a happy life. She wanted people to talk about the fun times they had with her. It’s not how her funeral turned out to be, and it probably won’t be when I go. But I love the idea that people would be thinking, “Man, that Ruth was one fiesty chick. I remember in high school when she had two guys interested in her and her big concern was how long she could make the “agony” of deciding between them last. I remember that time she put foam around her mouth and ran down the dorm hallway (while in college), screaming like a lunatic in her pajamas on Halloween night. Or how about the crazy way she’d spray the deck with ant killer whenever she saw a single ant in the house? (Hey, I’m armed for pests, and yes, I man the battle stations to defend my home!)
So now I see why my mom wanted people to laugh and remember the fun times because that’s how life is supposed to be. Sure, we get some crap that happens to us and we might even shed a tear or two, but overall, you got to do what you enjoy so you can love life. It’s like the children. They have no trouble laughing and playing. We should be the same way. Yes, take care of your responsibilities as an adult but don’t forget to have some fun, too.