Dave Larson Gets a Fan Letter

Special note: Stephannie Beman felt sorry for Dave and created a character who would support Dave since no one else plans to.  😀

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So I went to my inbox, and I notice an email addressed to Dave Larson.  This is the picture that was attached and the letter:

My Dearest, Bravest Dave,

I’m sorry to hear about the betrayal of your dear author. How dare she turn her back on you to run away with some half-breed daemon-god?! You are a better man than Hades could ever be! You’re human! You’re decent! Not some killer pretending to be a good guy!

You are so underappreciated for all you do to help out the others. I applaud you and all you do for those ungrateful characters. You’re trying to get justice for them and that horrible woman tramples all over you and twists their minds with her lies that they are truly happy. How can they be with all she puts them through?

My author was reading Claire’s story and I can tell you if given the choice of going back to that awful man (Lord Roderick) or join your Characters for Better Treatment Union, I’d have been signing the paper. I would have backed you up. I would remain at your side, fighting the cause with you. They are all unworthy of such a great man.

Forever yours,
Kyala the tree nymph

Ruth: So there you have it.  Dave now has a fan letter and someone who is openly opposing me.  I thought I’d bring Dave in to get his reaction to this.  So Dave, how does it feel to have such a big supporter of your ridiculous Characters for Better Treatment Union?

Dave: Can you delete that picture?

Ruth: The picture?  But I thought you’d be interested in talking about your fan who, for some weird reason, actually agrees with your ridiculous demands.

Dave: I can’t read the letter when there’s a picture of a woman in her undergarments next to it. 

Ruth: That’s a dress.  In 2012, she’s actually wearing more than some women do.

Dave: In public?

Ruth: Yep.

Dave: That’s not right.  She needs to be covered up.  The only woman I want to see in that little clothing is Mary, and that’s only when we’re alone.

Ruth: Forget the picture.  Can we just get to the letter?

Dave: I can’t.  Not until that picture is removed.

Ruth: *grumbles* Who knew you were such a prude when you are adamant your books contain at least three sex scenes?

Dave: That’s different.  It’s me and Mary. 

Ruth: Whatever.  Here’s the letter without the picture:

My Dearest, Bravest Dave,

I’m sorry to hear about the betrayal of your dear author. How dare she turn her back on you to run away with some half-breed daemon-god?! You are a better man than Hades could ever be! You’re human! You’re decent! Not some killer pretending to be a good guy!

You are so underappreciated for all you do to help out the others. I applaud you and all you do for those ungrateful characters. You’re trying to get justice for them and that horrible woman tramples all over you and twists their minds with her lies that they are truly happy. How can they be with all she puts them through?

My author was reading Claire’s story and I can tell you if given the choice of going back to that awful man or join your Characters for Better Treatment Union, I’d have been signing the paper. I would have backed you up. I would remain at your side, fighting the cause with you. They are all unworthy of such a great man.

Forever yours,
Kyala the tree nymph

Ruth: So Dave, what do you think?  This should boost your ego, though I can’t imagine how it can get any bigger.

Dave: There’s nothing wrong with my ego.  I just have healthy self-esteem.

Ruth: Yeah well, your next book will take care of that.

Dave: What?

Ruth: Just get to the letter, okay?  It was from Kyala the tree nymph.

Dave: The tree nymph?  Is that a political party in 2012 or something?

Ruth: No.

Dave: It sounds like an environmental thing.

Ruth: *snickers* Not exactly.

Dave: I don’t get it.  What’s so funny?

Ruth: Nothing.  Let’s get to the letter.  What do you think?

Dave:  Well, it’s weird.

Ruth: How so?

Dave: I have no idea who this person is.  You’re not going to co-author another book, are you?

Ruth: No.

Dave: That’s a relief.  I’d hate to think you’re dividing your loyalties even more.  It’s bad enough you declared your undying devotion to another author’s character. 

Ruth: You’ll notice Kyala pointed that out. 

Dave: If I knew who Kyala was, then I’d know what to think of it.  Is she someone you made up?

Ruth: No.  Stephannie made her up.

Dave: So why does Kyala even care what’s going on over here.

Ruth: I don’t know.  I guess it’s because you’re human and decent.  At least she got the human part right.

Dave: What are you implying? 

Mary Larson: I’m not so sure I like this, Ruth.

Ruth: I agree.  Your husband is being a total idiot, trying to get a boycott on my books and creating a union.

Mary: That’s harmless.  No one listens to him.

Dave: Hey!

Mary: I’m sorry, honey, but it’s true.  When you start spouting off nonsense about how you’re not treated fairly by our author, we don’t even hear what you’re saying.  You can’t take this personally, Ruth.  It’s winter.  He’s restless and bored.  He needs to be back out in the fields working.  I promise you next month when he’s outside more, he won’t even be bugging you.

Ruth: Is that what troubles you, Mary?  That he’s bored during the winter and looks for ways to occupy his time?  I could change his profession.

Dave: No!  I want to be a farmer! 

Mary: He wouldn’t be happy doing anything else.

Ruth: I could make him content enough at another job or *cough* get rid of him if he’s irritating you.

Mary: I don’t want any of that.  Even if he goes overboard on this blog, I still love him.

Dave: Hello.  You don’t have to talk about me as if I’m not here.

Ruth: Mary, I don’t understand what’s bothering you?  Talk to me.  What’s up?

Mary: I don’t like this letter from Kyala.

Ruth: Ah, I see.  Is it because she’s feeding into his massive ego.

Dave: Massive ego? 

Mary: No.  He might come off as a blowhard on this blog, but he’s not that way in the books, and he’s not that way around me.  I think he acts that way to get a rise out of you.

Ruth: Could be.  But even so, it’s got to stop.  Who can respect an author who keeps having a character who keeps telling everyone how horrible she is?

Mary: I understand your point, and I’d be frustrated, too, if I were in your shoes.

Dave: Good grief!

Ruth: So what bothers you about Kyala?

Mary: I don’t know exactly.  She just seems too eager to support him.  I mean, she read one blog post and she’s his biggest fan?  Then she submits a provocative picture–

Dave: Which I had Ruth remove.

Mary: And I appreciate that, sweetheart.

Dave: Hey, you wouldn’t mind getting that kind of dress.  You know, for when we’re alone. 

Mary: This isn’t the place to be talking about it.

Dave: Oh, well then we’re done with this post.  Bye, Ruth.  Me and my massive ego will be back some other time.

Ruth: So that’s what it takes to get rid of you, huh?

Dave: You think you’re funny, but no one’s laughing.  Let’s go, Mary.

Mary: Hold on.  Ruth, I’m keeping an eye on the situation.  I hope this thing with Kyala doesn’t become a big deal.

Ruth: I have no idea if it will or not.  The email popped up in my inbox unexpectedly.

Mary: Okay.  Thanks, Ruth.  *walks off*

Ruth: I wish all characters were more like your wife, Dave.

Dave: *shrugs and hurries after Mary*

About Ruth Ann Nordin

Ruth Ann Nordin mainly writes historical western romances and Regencies. From time to time, she branches out to contemporaries romances and other genres (such as science fiction thrillers). For more information, please go to www.ruthannnordin.com or check out https://ruthannnordinauthorblog.wordpress.com.
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9 Responses to Dave Larson Gets a Fan Letter

  1. Dave,
    Kyala asked me to post this. She’s not sure how to work a computer or anything else uses electricity.
    Stephannie
    ____
    Dearest Dave,
    How could you be so mean to me? I’m supporting your cause for Characters for better Treatment Union. I’m supporting your boycott of Ruth.You are right, everyone should boycott her books. Look at the misery she causes.

    And what is wrong with the way I dress? Not only am I wearing more than most people do in 2012, but I’m also wearing more clothes than most people wear in my own time. But for you I’d be willing to wear those ridiculous, cumbersome dresses Mary and the others wear.

    Yours
    Kyala

  2. Reblogged this on Paranormal & Fantasy Romance Author Stephannie Beman and commented:
    Seems that Dave Larson has answered Kyala’s fan letter and I’m sure that everyone can agree that the answer is not the one she expected.

  3. Dave, this is Stephannie posting for another character who can’t figure out how to use a computer.

    D, I heard from my girl Ky-what’s-her-name the you made a Characters for the Better Treatment Union. I want in, man. My author stole my girl and gave her to my ugly brother. Then she twisted Aphie’s mind into thinking she was better off with him and not me! Then when I finally when I come to terms with that and start liking another girl, she goes and gives her to Hades! Stephannie is twisted, she needs to be stopped!

    • Stephannie: She was never meant to be yours, Ares. Aphrodite wanted to be with Hephaestus. Peresphone was already in love with Hades when you met. Why don’t you hook up with Eris?

      Ares: Ugh, not in a million years!

      Stephannie: Why not? I’m sure she’ll let you win sometimes. : D

    • LOL Leave it to Ares to not remember a woman’s name.

      Uh oh, Stephannie, you better watch out. Your characters are starting to turn against you. :O

  4. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

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