Interview with My Husband (Debating Whether Or Not It’s Okay for a Man to Cry)

For the first time ever, my husband is going to make an appearance on this blog!  Ready to meet him?  Here he is…

man in hood

My husband who refuses to show his face. Could it be because he’s crying and doesn’t want anyone to know?

Ruth: Don’t be shy.  Take off your hood and show everyone how good looking you are, sweetie.

Husband: I’m not shy.  I’m embarrassed.

Ruth: Why?

Husband: Because of what I read in Mitch’s Win.

Ruth: But I thought you said the story had some good lessons.

Husband:  Yeah.  Lessons in how not to be a real man.  By the way, I am NOT crying.  I am ashamed my wife’s favorite character in Mitch’s Win is a big sissy.

Ruth: A big sissy?

Husband: Yeah.  Mitch’s brother, Boaz.  He’s super annoying because all he did was cry.  I keep telling you, men don’t cry.

Ruth: Nonsense.  Men do cry.

Husband: I’m a man.  I know how men are.  And they don’t cry.  Ever.

Ruth: Sure, they do.  They can feel sad just like women do.

Boaz cries again and again and again...

Boaz cries again and again and again…

Husband: *sighs* You know nothing about men.  There’s a code among us.  Even if we have feel sad, we know better than to show it.  Boaz took it to the extreme.  I mean, just about every single scene had him sobbing like a little girl.  The book – Mitch’s Win – itself was okay.  All you need to do it get rid of Boaz.  I liked Mitch.  I liked Greg.  I even like the scummy Abe.  Abe might have been a bad guy, but at least he didn’t cry all the time.  I swear, after a while, I was hoping one of the other characters was going to off Boaz just to put him out of his misery…and mine.  It was painful to read how wimpy he was.

Ruth: First of all, Boaz doesn’t even look like that.  Second, Boaz watched his wife die in childbirth.  He turned to alcohol to dull the pain.  Then he became an alcoholic.

Husband: Even if he was an alcoholic, I don’t see why he needs to cry.

Ruth: Different personality types will respond to loss and alcohol dependence in different ways.

Husband: I hate it when you put on your Psychology hat.

Ruth: It’s the truth.  People react to situations differently.  Boaz happens to be more sensitive to things than Mitch is.

Husband: I like Mitch.  He was a real man.

Ruth: *groans* Mitch also didn’t lose a wife.

Husband: But this book begins two years after she died.  Two years!

Ruth: Some people stay in pain longer than others.  And quite frankly, alcohol would delay any healing.

How my husband envisions Boaz's book.

How my husband envisions Boaz’s book.

Husband: Good grief.  I wish you never got your Psychology degree.  All you ever do is examine people and why they say or do the things they do.  Sometimes you just got to call a spade a spade.  Boaz is a crybaby.  His book shouldn’t be called “Boaz’s Wager”.  It should be called “Boaz Weeps Again” because we all know this guy is going to see a butterfly flutter across the prairie and cry about it.

Ruth: Oh come on.  He is happy at the end of Mitch’s Win.  He’s no longer drinking and has worked through the past.

Husband: I refuse to believe it.  The guy will cry buckets of tears in his own book.  *shudders*

Ruth: I noticed you entered the giveaway Janet Syas Nitsick and I are running.

Husband: Yes, I did.  I want some flowers or the bath set.  Mother’s Day is coming up in May and I don’t feel like shopping to get you a gift.  Oh wait.  Did I just say that last part aloud?

Ruth: Yes, you did.  And just wait.  I’ll give you something to cry about when we’re done with this interview, pal.

Husband: See what I put up with as Ruth’s husband?

Ruth: Anyway, you can’t win the giveaway because you’re my husband.  It’d be a conflict of interest.

Husband: Conflict of interest….or discrimination?

Ruth: *laughs* Discrimination?

Husband: You have something against men who don’t cry.

Ruth: *rolls eyes* Anyway, I wanted to share your answers with everyone.

Husband: And you wonder why I’m wearing the hood to conceal my identity?

Ruth: *ignores husband* The first question asked in the giveaway is “In Lockets and Lanterns, Red is keeping a secret from his wife.  What do you think the secret is?”  Your answer: “Boaz taught Red that it’s okay for a man to cry, and Red is too ashamed to admit this to his wife.”

Husband: I’d be ashamed, too, if I was Red.  I hope that secret never gets out.  I’d hate for other men to end up like Boaz.

Ruth: And the second question is, “Of all the books you’ve read by Ruth Ann Nordin, which heroine would you be and why?” Your answer: “I wouldn’t be any of them.  I’m a dude.”

Husband: Well, it’s true.

Ruth: Is there anything else you wish to say before we end this interview?

Husband.  Yes, there is.  Someone please tell Boaz to stop crying.  It’s embarrassing to men everywhere.

Ruth: That’s it for this interview.  I have a feeling Boaz will want to come on to give his rebuttal soon.  😉

Husband: If he does, I hope he brings a handkerchief.  He’ll be sobbing through the whole thing.

Oldest son steps in to say: I didn’t laugh through this entire interview.  I didn’t cry either. Men who cry are babies.


Credits for pictures used in this post:

image used for Husband: © Alexey Kovalchuk |

image used for a crying Boaz: © Ninamalyna |

image used for mock cover of “Boaz Weeps Again”: © Corolanty |

About Ruth Ann Nordin

Ruth Ann Nordin mainly writes historical western romances and Regencies. From time to time, she branches out to contemporaries romances and other genres (such as science fiction thrillers). For more information, please go to or check out
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12 Responses to Interview with My Husband (Debating Whether Or Not It’s Okay for a Man to Cry)

  1. dorothypaula says:

    This interview is great! Brought tears of laughter to my eyes. Speaking of “Tears”, your husband sounds like a great guy and good sport. 🙂

    • He is a good sport. I wasn’t sure he’d let me take some of our conversation over Boaz and elaborate on it into a blog post, but he was all for it. 😀 It was a lot of fun to write.

  2. I think what we’re facing here is more a matter of women liking sympathetic men who can show their emotions. When it’s books about relationships, that’s what we want. A man who is willing to let at least the closest person to him see him cry is a man we all want, because somewhere inside, we feel like we’re closer to that kind of man than one who bottles up his emotions. This is what brings us together and it’s what sells books.

    • Yep, and that’s what I explained to my husband. He’s not into romance novels. (Actually, he doesn’t like to read at all.) Though he’d never admit it, he’s had a moment or two where he’s teared up. He just claims something got in his eye. 😉

      But that’s definitely the appeal of romances. Crying isn’t so much about crying as it is being willing to be vulnerable to the person you love.

  3. Judy DV says:

    Well, even if he don’t cry, happy one year anniversary of being home Ruth’s husband. Loved the interview. It brought tears to my eyes. And as far as Boaz, don’t people who drink have a tendency towards tears? To sit at the bar and cry out all their problems?

    • He’s had his tearing up moments, even if he refuses to admit it. hehe

      I love Boaz. He’s my favorite character, and I’m looking forward to writing his book, esp. after all the pain he went through in the first book. My dad was an alcoholic, but he was the type who went off to a room and slept and he managed to overcome it when I was eight. Years ago, I heard alcoholics react differently, so it makes sense to me that someone who went through a traumatic loss would cry. (My dad hadn’t suffered any tragic loss. He just started out as a social drinker and kept going.) I’d think the reason someone drinks would affect how they react while under the influence of it.


  5. LOL, Ruth!

    My husband cried when he broke his ankle. Then later he was mad because he cried.

  6. Kesia Saenz says:

    Loved it!!! Ya’ll are so funny!!! lol and btw men do cry… I personally know this…the strongest person I know is my dad and to watch him break down and cry when my grandmother (his mother-in-law) passed away was heart-wrenching. For 6 years we lived together under one roof… get closer to someone when you live with them day in and day out. It affected all of us so much and I understand how my father even trying to be strong for my mom, sister and I could breakdown too. She was an amazing person and I hold no judgement on my father for having cried. Any man can choose to cry. Its a natural response.

    • The post was done in good fun because my husband kept giving me grief about how I wrote Boaz’s character. But the character was in so much pain and he was more sensitive to loss that he couldn’t just “get over it” (as my husband suggested). I know men cry. I also know there’s a stigma held by some people that they shouldn’t cry, and I think the stigma is ridiculous.

      That’s actually a beautiful testimony of how much your family cares for and loves each other. I remember that time when your grandmother passed away. Once a person passes on, you can’t bring them back, and that’s why it’s so hard. At least when someone moves away, you can still call or write. I think crying is a very natural reaction, especially when you go through a horrible ordeal.

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