From the diary of Ann Kerwin (heroine in A Royal Engagement):
Okay, so I’m not at all excited about this prospect of being the queen. Queens can face danger at every turn. You might think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. I was minding my own business, going to college and all, when Hathor came to get me. I didn’t ask to be the queen of Raz. He just told me I was going to be one and whisked me away from Earth. And what has it been ever since? Dodging one life threatening situation after another. There was the crazy cave on planet Red then the dragon on planet Forestaria. But I have to say dodging bullets on planet Pale took the cake. That’s been the worst by far, and as you can see, I’m not in any shape for this kind of thing. (By the way, the Zeus mentioned below is the god from Greek mythology.)
“Follow me,” Zeus said.
He didn’t need to tell her twice! She bolted with him across the open field, if white sand could be considered a field. Behind them, the guards were shooting at her, and for reasons she couldn’t explain, she managed to dodge each bullet. Either they were lousy shots or she was incredibly lucky. Whatever the case, she wasn’t going to complain.
By the time they reached the nearest building, she thought she was going to pass out. No wonder she didn’t do so hot in gym class. She wasn’t cut out for this kind of thing. When they got into the building, Zeus locked the door and she collapsed against it.
She glanced at Zeus and saw that he was breathing normally. No one would guess he’d just been in the same perilous race that she had been in. He hadn’t even broken into a sweat! She told herself it was because he was immortal, but that did little to make her feel better. She was supposed to be the queen of Raz. Surely, the queen should be able to manage a run across a vacant field while nearly being shot without feeling like she was going to pass out.
In case anyone missed it last time, here’s where you can get A Royal Engagement on preorder:
Ann is awesome, even if she does need to work out a bit. LOL
Her days of eating pizza and tacos while lounging in a chair are over. LOL
Or she could stay “you know where” and the junk food would be healthy. LOL
I had to take the soda and hamburger growing on trees out because everyone but you said it was too much to expect the reader to believe, even for a comical fantasy. I hated giving it up, but I ended up substituting them for fruit.
Well, it was a little fantastical, but I knew you were going for humor. I debated on saying anything, but I decided it was okay if you wanted it in there. I think taking it out was probably the best thing to do. You know how some readers really nitpick. It was funny, though.
Yep, that was why I ended up taking it out. I figured enough people wouldn’t like it, so it wasn’t worth it. If I was only publishing it for myself, I’d keep it in because it was funny. Some people don’t get my type of humor. I still get grief once in a while about the fact that I had a hero who caught criminals with his fishing pole instead of a gun.
Your sense of humor is a little quirky, and sometimes mine is, too. LOL. Okay, which book has the hero catching criminals with a fishing pole? Have I just forgotten that one?
It’s an older book. The Wrong Husband. The hero is really a fisherman. He pretends to be a deputy in order to stop the sheriff from realizing he’s a wanted man, and since he has no idea how to use a gun, he uses his fishing pole to catch criminals as they run away from him. I had a lot of fun writing that one. It’s one of my comedies.
I’ll have to check that one out.