Ruth Ann Nordin: On Thursday, I posted Mary Larson’s apple pie recipe in honor of Kobo running the 3 for 2 sale on select titles (His Convenient Wife being one of them). Today, I thought I’d discuss what inspired me to write His Convenient Wife.
Richard Larson: Whoa! Hold on. His Convenient Wife is old news. It’s been out since January. People don’t want to hear about a book that’s already out. They want to hear about what’s new. Today, we’re going to talk about Wagon Trail Bride.
Ruth: Well, actually, because of the Kobo sale, I should stick with the book that’s in the sale.
Richard: I’ve had enough! I’ve been patient. Unnecessarily patient. You wrote books to everyone else but me. Sally, Tom, Dave, Jenny, and Joel all got their books. Dave even got his twice. I spent all these years waiting in the shadows for you to finally get around to writing my book. Well, I’m not taking this sitting down anymore. I’m taking a stand. You just spent a couple weeks over that idiot Malcolm Jasper, who thought counting his money was more fun than sex. Then you made this big-t0-do about some stupid book Janet Syas Nitsick’s writing…as if you’ll ever really go into acting. *rolls eyes* Now, it’s my turn. We are going to talk about my book whether you like it or not.
Ruth: Wow, Richard, I didn’t know you had this side to you.
Richard: What side?
Ruth: You’re being unusually demanding. I’d say you were Dave Larson, except you don’t look like him.
Richard: My brother had the right idea when he called everyone to ban your books back in 2012.
Richard: I wish I’d backed him up better than I did. I told him you were a kind author, and that you took your characters’ wishes seriously. But look at where we’re at!
Ruth: Lighten up, dude. I wrote your book. It’s on pre-order right now.
Ruth: It’s even on pre-order at Kobo, where the sale is happening right now, by the way. It’ll run until November 9. The pre-order isn’t part of the sale, but His Convenient Wife is, and that book features Dave and Mary Larson’s daughter, Harriett Larson. But even if you already have my book, there are other books over there in the-
Richard: I don’t believe it! You’re still harping on about that sale and that book. I’m right here! Is Kobo here? No. Is Stan Craftsman here? No. Is Harriett Larson here? No. Are any of the authors covered in that sale here? No. But I am! And since I am, I demand you pay attention to me!!
Ruth: Alright, alright. We’ll focus in on you. Don’t have a heart attack.
Richard: Finally. Really fast, I want to thank everyone who took the time to send Ruth an email or comment asking her to write my story. Without you, Ruth never would have gotten off her lazy butt and done it. Nope. She would have continued writing other books, totally ignoring me and Amanda, which is completely wrong since she’s told everyone else’s story in the Larson family but mine.
Ruth: Wait a minute. That’s not fair. I haven’t written about all of the other Larsons. You are a large family. I only made a small dent in the stories that would cover all of you. However, since you’re bound and determined to discuss your book, let’s get down to it. I’m sure the most pressing question on everyone’s mind is why you and Amanda left New York.
Richard: Because her parents were no longer alive, and we thought it’d be nice to be near someone’s parents. Since mine happened to be alive, we went with them to Omaha.
Ruth: That was the story the other Larsons believe, but you and I both know it’s not the truth.
Richard: That’s all anyone needs to know.
Ruth: Not if your plan is for them to read your book. If you really want to get up their excitement, you’d tell them the real reason.
Richard: I can’t. I promised Amanda I’d keep her secret forever.
Ruth: But they’ll find out when they read the book anyway.
Richard: That’s different. When the book is happening, I’m not telling anyone anything. It’s just a part of the story.
Ruth: That’s a lame excuse.
Richard: Anyway, can we move on to the next question?
Ruth: Fine. How long have you loved Amanda?
Richard: I’m not sure. It seems I always just did. We’ve known each other since we were children.
Richard: Hmm, what?
Ruth: Well, I recently read A Bride for Tom, and according to that, you had recently met Amanda before you two left New York.
Richard: I can’t help it if you got my backstory wrong. What you put in A Bride for Tom is wrong. The truth is, I knew her for as long as I can remember. Our parents were good friends.
Ruth: This sucks, Richard. Do you know how many people have read A Bride for Tom?
Richard: Perhaps if you had taken the time to do my story sooner, you wouldn’t be stuck in this very embarrassing situation right now.
Ruth: I’ll just have to change that part in A Bride for Tom and hope no one notices.
Richard: You’re a hack. That’s what you are. A professional wouldn’t have made the mistake in the first place because a professional would have taken lots of notes and put them into a binder or in a spreadsheet. You have no one to blame but yourself.
Ruth: Now I’m beginning to remember why I didn’t work with you sooner. You and Dave have way too much in common. He’s a big pain in the neck, too. Well, I’ve had enough of this interrogation…I mean, interview. You revealed very little, and I doubt anyone is interested in your book. Thanks for wasting my time when I could have been talking about His Convenient Wife or the Kobo sale instead.
Richard: We’re not done.
Ruth: I am. We’re over 1000 words, and I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed.
Richard: But there’s more to tell.
Ruth: Not really. You won’t tell anyone why you and Amanda left New York, and you’re making things difficult on me by changing things around like when you met Amanda. Seems to me, the longer I do this post, the worse off I am. Good night, Richard. *leaves*
Richard: But…but… Will someone please bug Ruth to put me back on this blog?
Pictures purchased at Dreamstime. Below are the credits:
Richard with stop sign: ID 28588709 © Otmar Winterleitner | Dreamstime.com
Richard with arrow: ID 28662433 © Otmar Winterleitner | Dreamstime.com
Richard happy at last: ID 29179573 © Otmar Winterleitner | Dreamstime.com