And I’m in trouble. 😦
I was so caught up in my dreams of stardom and fame that I neglected to pay any attention to them. Apparently, someone (we’ll blame Janet Syas Nitsick) hasn’t been paying attention to her inbox. So when I got up this morning and saw them knocking at my door, I knew this wasn’t good.
Jack Warren: You bet it isn’t good. In your contract with us, you promised you would promote us. Now, we don’t care that you gave Janet’s characters no marketing love. But we are the ones you created. We are the ones who matter. It’s right here in this contract!
Maybell Smith: Jack’s right. When we agreed to be the heroine and hero in your full-length romance in this anthology, you insisted on giving us a contract to sign saying we would not resign from our roles.
Ruth Ann Nordin: Yes, that was because Mr. Malcolm Jasper tried that trick. It caused a ton of lost hours in rewrites with another hero I’ll never use. I’m busy. I work on three books at a time. It’s not like I have time to redo these.
Maybell: But our time counts, too, Ruth. After we’re done with your s0-called masterpiece, we have other books to move onto. We need to pay our bills just like everyone else.
Jack: Exactly. Our time is money, just like yours is. Too many authors complain about their plight of wanting to sell books. Well, you know what? Without the characters to fill in for the roles of those books, the books don’t get done. So it seems to me, you’re much better off working with us than doing senseless projects like auditioning for the role in a movie.
Maybell: Besides, Janet’s right. You weren’t any good.
Jack: Yeah, can you imagine what would happen to us if we didn’t follow the script given to us?
Ruth Ann Nordin: Now, hold on a minute. You two didn’t follow my script. You improvised. My original idea was for Maybell’s father to marry you and Maybell, with you being the very reluctant and ultra-shy groom. But did that happen? Nope. You were practically all over Maybell halfway into the story.
Jack: *gasps* I wasn’t all over Maybell!
Ruth Ann Nordin: Sure. *rolls eyes* I’m surprised you didn’t carry her up to the barn loft and have your way with her.
Jack: That’s not true. I was a perfect gentleman. I didn’t do anything more than kiss her until we were married.
Maybell: He’s right. He was. And I’m the one who had to get the ball rolling on the kissing thing.
Jack: I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries.
Maybell: Oh, it was totally worth the wait. Those scenes still make my skin tingle. … * notices what I wrote under her picture* You can’t put that for the caption of my picture!
Ruth Ann Nordin: Why not?
Maybell: Because I was acting in the book. I was attracted to him in the book, not real life.
Ruth Ann Nordin: Oh puhleaze! Don’t think I didn’t notice the little kisses you were giving each other when I was writing. You two fell in love with real life. I wouldn’t be surprised if you ended up getting married for real.
Jack: Well, we do have the wedding night already practiced out. I have to say Maybell was awesome.
Maybell: *blushes and giggles*
Ruth Ann Nordin: So you see? Instead of being upset, you should be thanking me. If it weren’t for me, you two would never have met, and if you had never met, you wouldn’t be together today.
Jack: Alright, we’ll accept that, but we demand our promo time.
Ruth Ann Nordin: I can do that. In the next blog post, I’ll put up a scene from the book. Your choice.
Jack: Great! I pick the wedding night!
Ruth Ann Nordin: No, Jack. This is a PG blog. I can’t do that.
Maybell: How about the one you ran a couple months ago that everyone forgot about since you neglected us for so long? The one that has a lot of humor because I don’t want to be paired up with that boring Hugh character who was too scared of my pa’s shadow to tell him no?
Jack: He was weird. Then he was so sick for almost a week that he couldn’t make it back to the farm. And if he went five minutes past dinner without eating, he was going to die. That’s all pretty lame.
Maybell: I didn’t like Hugh at all, especially what he thought when he looked at me. I was good enough to make his meals, but I wasn’t at all attractive from his point of view.
Jack: Hugh was an idiot. He’d rather take that string bean Winifred Better-Than-Everyone-Else Preston over the friendly and curvy Maybell. *He winks at Maybell who giggles*
Ruth Ann Nordin: Jack, don’t be mean about Winifred. I had no control over that character, nor did I control Hugh.
Jack: Well, someone needs to tell Janet a woman who knows how to cook good meals and is blessed on top is very sexy. I’m tired of all these model thin women in Hollywood who look like they never eat anything. I want a woman who has curves. Curves is beautiful.
Ruth Ann Nordin: Being a curvy woman myself, I thank you.
Jack: So you’ll put up the sex scene?
Ruth Ann Nordin: No. We’ll go with the funny dinner scene where Maybell intentionally dissuaded Hugh from being attracted to her.
Maybell: At least she’s willing to do some promotion on our behalf.
Jack: True. We’ll take it.
Ruth Ann Nordin: *whew* At least they’re happy. Now I can work on casting more characters for my upcoming books.
Jack: ID 31407780 © Vladimir Nikulin | Dreamstime.com
Maybell: ID 46894163 © Voyagerix | Dreamstime.com