Ruth Ann Nordin's Author Blog

Helping My Son Get Services

I have been taking my deaf son to different appointments over the past month. This month and the next will probably be just as busy. I’m glad we’re finally making progress. The testing for autism won’t be until 10 or 11 months, but I hear the place that is going to do the testing is amazing. I am not sure if he’ll qualify for any disability benefits until the testing, though. He has had a difficult time finding a job. Regardless of how many places say they make accommodations for the hearing impaired, that simply is not true. The people on staff are largely unprepared for it. No one will text him an interview, nor will they arrange for an interpreter to be on site. So I’ve needed to be on the phone on his behalf. However, once he has the job, he hasn’t been able to keep it due to his behavior. I don’t know the details since I’m not there. All I know is that he keeps getting warnings before he gets fired. I am currently working with Family Services to see if we can get him some kind of employment dedicated for disabled people, so we can have a place that will work with whatever is going on with him. Currently, he is unable to live on his own. I am also looking into possible places where he can have some kind of assistance while having a sense of independent living. It’s a lot, and I’ve had to start a binder to keep it all straight.

Anyway, that takes up a lot of time. This is currently my main job. I only wrote three days last month. Two weeks of that month was spent in edits, though, so it’s not like I didn’t make any real progress. It’s just that all of my projects have to take a back seat. I’m not going to be alive forever. I need to take care of this now so he’ll be in good shape later on.

Due to this, I have had to make a couple of changes to what I’m doing with the business side of things.

I put my Monthly Newsletter Blog back up.

I might not have a lot of new things to share, but I’ll use this to pretty much say, “I’m still here, and I haven’t forgotten about these books.” 🙂 Someone recently asked me if I had a book out recently. I realized that I need to be more proactive with keeping people updated on what I’m working on.

I went back to MailChimp for My Email List.

I was trying Mailerlite, and while it’s a good program, I learned how to do the “ins and outs” of the email list on MailChimp. I’m more comfortable there. I know how to work with the templates and upload pictures of my book covers. I can no longer afford the subscription plan to use a Plug In here on WordPress in order to have an official “sign up” form that takes people directly to MailChimp. So I just settled for setting up a Contact form here on WordPress, and I’ll manually put the contact information into my MailChimp “audience” list. That way, I don’t have to pay anything. If you have a list under a certain amount of subscribers, MailChimp doesn’t charge you anything. At this point, I need to take all the financial breaks I can get.

I am also back to only emailing people when I have a new release out. I don’t have the stamina to do the Monthly Newsletter and the monthly email.

Masquerade Bride is in Edits

This should be out in April. I don’t have a date set yet, but I plan to put it on pre-order around April 1. I’m just going to have to go back to pre-orders. That will give me time to do all the steps I need to have everything ready for release day.

I am getting close to the end on The Preacher’s Wife.

And I decided to make this Book 2 in the Oregon Series again. It just works better as a series book. I will worry about putting Book 1 info on The Wilderness Bride when I publish The Preacher’s Wife. I am easily overwhelmed these days with the book stuff, so I have to wait on some things.

Anyway, I’m coming to the big moment where the hero is going to have everything he has stood for tested. Part of me is intimidated since it will involve a high degree of emotion. I am worried I won’t be able to properly make it work. But it’ll also be a great chance to challenge myself as a writer. I need the right balance between rage and grace, because ultimately, I want this book to display how forgiving God is even when we fall into temptation. I love knowing that no matter what we’ve done, He will always welcome us with open arms. As a side note, the Apostle Peter is one of my favorite examples of grace and forgiveness in the Bible. Peter denied Christ three times and yet went on to do such great things for Him, including giving his life for his faith. To me, that is inspiring.

I am 25,000 words into The Science of Love

I am not sure how long this will end up being. I keep telling myself I can write a novella, but I have a feeling this is going to be at least 50,000 words. My characters are just not in a hurry to wrap things up. I’m going to have to settle for that being fine. If the story is stronger as a full-length romance, then that’s what it’ll be.

I am still working on my horror romance.

I have been listening to a lot of horror audiobooks, and I’m learning that I lean heavily toward the fantasy horror genre, especially where there are strange creatures involved. Sometimes these creatures stem from folklore, and other times, the authors are making something up. I have grown tired of the serial killer kind of horror. There’s only so many ways a character can run in fear from a psycho. I have also grown tired of the psychological thrillers. I thought I would really enjoy those, but (and I hate to say this), they all seem to be the same after a while. The twist that’s supposed to be “shocking” really isn’t shocking. But with fantasy, you have room for going into a more creative zone with the story, and I love that.

As a result, my horror romance is starting to take on a fantasy aspect as well. I am taking common folklore along the Louisiana bayou and getting creative with it.

Today’s post comes from tons of hours spent consuming a variety of horror content over the past year.

At first glance, it’s easy to think “evil” is all bad, but I have noted some things that actually make “evil” a considerate entity. I mean, it’s not 100% considerate. It is evil. We’re supposed to hate it. We’re supposed to be scared of it. It is the ultimate villain. But when you do a thorough investigation into the very nature of “evil” in its role in the horror genre, you realize it has some positives. A lot of times, “evil” is surprisingly considerate.

*All of these points address movies and full-length novels. Shorter works do not apply. In shorter stuff, “evil” isn’t likely to be considerate at all. It’ll just come after you like a crazy ex that refuses to get over you.

With that said, let’s go…

1. “Evil” will allow you at least one full night’s sleep and a good meal.

Sure, there might be some opening scene where someone is brutally assaulted in some way. This is how the viewer/reader knows “evil” is a threat. But as far as you are concerned, everything is wonderful in the beginning. Often, it’s bright and sunny. People are lively and happy. Sometimes, you might get a warning that something is “wrong”, but it doesn’t affect you right away. You usually get a nice, full dinner and one night of evil-free, uninterrupted sleep. I think it’s rather considerate that “evil” will allow you to be comfortable before it beats the crap out you.

2. Sometimes, “evil” will make your life easier by eliminating your enemies.

We all have enemies. These are the people who make life a living hell for you in one way or another. “Evil” will go out of its way to go after these enemies for you. Now, you don’t have to go through the trouble of getting revenge yourself. “Evil” does the dirty work for you. Sure, “evil” will be coming after you later on, but at least you get the pleasure of seeing your enemies eliminated first.

3. “Evil” can make you into a hero.

Most of the time, you are the only one who sees that “evil” is a threat. Everyone else around you will think you’re nuts. They’ll ignore all of your warnings. They’ll call you crazy. They might even call a therapist for you. But then, “evil” will get to be such a big threat that they will be forced to admit you are right, and when they do, they will come running to you for help. You are now a hero.

4. “Evil” wants children to be seen AND heard.

While other genres tend to take a “children should be seen and not heard” approach, horror understands that children have something valuable to offer. Children, especially small ones, are given some unique insight that offers them protection that adults don’t get. Sometimes children will share this insight with you. If so, your chances of survival improve greatly. So listen to the children. “Evil” has a special place in its black and bitter heart for the little ones of the world. And who doesn’t like children?

5. “Evil” lets you know it’s coming.

The most considerate thing “evil” does is let you know it’s on its way. It doesn’t come at you all at once. It gives you time to prepare for it. Sure, you have to do your research, which might be difficult for those who hate studying, but “evil” at least gives you the opportunity to overcome it. If you can arm yourself successfully against the “evil”, you will become a smarter person, and this will make you a better version of yourself.

Has anyone noticed any other way where “evil” is considerate in horror movies and books? If so, I’d love to hear them!

I have finally gotten away from all of the advice given to writers about craft, publishing, and marketing. Yes, all of that has its place. There is a time to go into those things, but I found that too much of it has stifled my creativity. I needed to detox from it and get back to the pleasure of simply enjoying fiction again. We’re all different, and some authors may find their creativity flourishing when immersed with writing community advice. I am not one of them, apparently. I was surprised to learn that after spending two full months just listening to fiction for fun that my creativity flourished.

For the record, in this blog post, I am talking about traditionally published books. I have trouble finding indie audiobooks that I’m interested in, and while I was using my Kindle to listen to ebooks, I ended up with really bad headaches. My Kindle is an older model. AI voices have gotten better since that Kindle came out. I’m sure the current Kindles being sold would not give me headaches, but I don’t want to buy another Kindle when I have two already. So I signed up for the Libby app from my library and have been using that to listen to audiobooks on my iPhone. Hence the traditionally published content I’ve been consuming after years of only reading indie stuff.

Once in a while an indie author will think I’m talking about their book and email me about it. This is not the case in this post.

That all said, I did gather some thoughts along the way of reading what publishers are okay with, and I thought I’d share them in this post. The cat pic is here just because I love cat pics. 🙂

General Thoughts on Writing

Tension is not supposed to be on every page.

There is one particular trad author I am thinking of on this point. I have actually enjoyed two of her books I’ve listened to so far. I plan to listen to her others, but I need a break from her at the moment. The genre is YA fantasy horror. Given that it’s horror, there’s tension. Overall, she does a great job of building a gothic kind of atmosphere, but there is so much intense dread the main character is feeling all the time that I don’t have a chance to calm down from any of it. Okay, the tension is not literally on every single page, but it’s definitely there a couple of times per chapter. These are like jump scares they throw into scary movies. One is around every corner. Even with the “dum dum!” high-pitch music, you no longer jump. You get desensitized to it. That makes those moments lose their effectiveness. Yesterday when I was listening to her book, I found myself rolling my eyes and thinking, “Someone better be dead this time.” About 80% of the time, nothing is actually happening. It’s false alarm stuff. When the moment delivers, it’s great. When it doesn’t, it’s obnoxious. The author would be better off just dwelling on the subtle feeling of dread for at least half of these “OH NO!” moments. Take things down to a “huh…that’s kind of weird” notch instead. Don’t underestimate the power of being subtle. The subtle stuff is often far more tension-inducing than the quick scares.

To give a romance equivalent, I remember years and years ago when I read a lot of romances. Almost every other page would be the characters’ needs and urges to be with the object of their affection. I don’t think I got through many scenes where a hero didn’t have an erection or the heroine wasn’t getting wet or feeling all tingly down there. It took me out of the romance story completely. I mean, sure, those things are a part of attraction, but people don’t always walk around erect/wet/tingling (and if they did, they should be seeing a doctor). It’s possible to have a conversation with someone without all of those physical urges getting in the way, and you can also kiss a person without wanting to rip their clothes off. And if it’s not the physical stuff in a romance that gets annoying, it’s all the “does he/she or doesn’t he/she love me?” angst thrown at us. Most of the time, that angst stems from the fact that no one is saying what is really on their minds. They’re too busy assuming things about the other person. That whole setup gets old fast, and I stopped reading romance because of it.

So as a writer, I’m thinking that it’s best to be more low-key on the tension, whatever that tension is. Yes, have tension, but have it when it matters to the plot and/or character development. Give your readers some downtime to simply be in the story. Think of tension like your favorite dinner. You don’t want to keep cramming food down your throat. You want to consume the food slowly. That way you don’t get full too fast and end up with a stomach ache, AND you get the pleasure of enjoying each and every flavorful moment of the meal. Those low-key moments help to give your reader time to have some calm before the next tense moment.

Now on the flip side…

Events that Don’t Matter Should Be Removed

I end up not finishing about 70% of the books I start because of things happening that don’t matter to the story. (Hence why I signed up for the library app. I got tired of throwing money away.)

There’s this one book that’s a science fiction horror novel. It started off great. These characters were supposed to partake in an experiment. The setup was awesome. I was on the edge of my seat and listening to every word. Then after chapter four, I realized that the events that were happening in this experiment led to nothing. Chapters 4-10 were pretty much all the same. Just different monsters in different places. It was like the characters were just running in circles. You could have removed those events and still had the story. The author probably thought all of the graphic and horrific events she threw in there were riveting, but they got boring fast. It would have been better if this author had just went through one event and gave the final punchline, which was “there is a psychopath somewhere among you”. I cheated and listened to the last chapter to see what the point of the whole book was, and that was it. And then I realized there was a Book 2. As soon as I saw it was a series, I said, “Nope,” and took the author off my tag list.

Another book I read was a book that bordered on general thriller and horror. Overall, it was funny in places, and that is the only thing that kept me listening, but I could put the book down with it playing, come back to it, and not really miss anything. The author is a well-known author who’s won awards. Like, he’s been in bookstores and stuff, you know. So you expect better. I thought this one book was a fluke, so I listened to another one. This was a supernatural dark horror, and that one was so ridiculously repetitive that I was gritting my teeth toward the end. I wanted to know what was causing all the scary events in the town. So I held out, but it was not easy, and I ended up switching to other books to get a break. I wonder if the publisher told that authors that he had to write so many words in order to be published, so he put in a lot of filler into his stories. I borrowed a movie based off of one of his books at the library, and even that one lagged. I want to like this author, but one more book like that, and I think I’m done. I mean, he does have some good ideas. I just wish he’d tighten things up. Like throw out at least 25% of his stories.

Let me give you a real-life example of what those books are like so you get a better idea of what I’m talking about. Let’s say I’m telling you about the time I bought a car. I start the story off by saying I left the house to go to the dealership. Then I say I went to the office store and picked up some paper. When I was done, I made it halfway to the car dealership. But then I realize I needed some paper towels and bananas, so I stopped to get those from the grocery store. After that, I finally got to the car dealership. Right away, I decided instead of looking at cars, I see this random customer (that has nothing to do with anything) and talk about their hair and clothes. Then I talk to a salesperson who’s been gravitating toward me the entire time I fixated on that other customer. I proceeded to look at a couple of cars and take them for a test drive. Finally, you think, we’re getting somewhere. But no, we’re not because for whatever reason, I feel the need to tell you about some random event that happened to my kid last week at school and how I felt about it. (This event had nothing to do with cars, by the way, though I do toss in that the principal has a red one.) After that, I picked a car and sat down to work on the payment plan, like whether I’ll make payments, lease, or buy the thing outright. And just when I got to the part where I made my decision and could proceed to the financial person, I figured I’d stop by a vending machine and compare the snacks because I’ve been at the dealership for half the day (since nothing ever goes fast at a car dealership). By the time I get the key and leave the lot, I doubt anyone gives a crap that I ever bought a car.

That is what those “event” stories are like to me, and it’s why I do not finish them or I will walk away and leave the them playing in hopes they’ll pick up somewhere.

We need to see a line of progression from Point A to Point B to Point C, etc. It needs to go on an upward slope. That slope needs to end at the climax. Sending characters on these wild goose chases are a waste of time.

***

That’s all I got for today. All of these books have been making me think of ways I can make my own better. Yes, there is a lot of advice out there for writers, but some of the best things we can pick up in storytelling is by reading stories for pleasure.

First, I hope everyone is having a great start to 2026! 😀 Happy Be-lated New Year’s.

Okay, I have to dust off my blog here since it’s been a while. I want to discuss my writing before I dive into other topics. I feel like the stories are the most interesting part of my life. They are what keeps me getting up every day, even if I haven’t been able to write more than once or twice a week for the past half year. When I’m not writing, I’m usually thinking about what I will be writing when I get a chance to sit at the computer. I have found that taking more time has been making the stories a lot more fun.

The Books in Progress

I am at the last scene in Masquerade Bride!

After not finishing a book in eons, I’m even more excited than usual to be close to finally getting another one done. There is a sense of accomplishment that follows “The End”. This first draft will probably finish up at about 59,000 words.

The things in this book that didn’t go as planned:

1. Going in, I had no idea who the hero would be. It’s probably going to be obvious to everyone else, but I wasn’t sure when I started. That’s why all but one scene in this book is in the heroine’s point of view. I don’t want to give anything away, but let’s say it surprised me when I finally narrowed down who the hero was.

2. Also, I had expected the heroine’s other life to be different than how it turned out, too. I expected her to feel like the “popular girl” she always envisioned herself being. That didn’t play out. She was still the “wallflower”, it was just something only she was aware of. To make the plot work, I had to fall back on others seeing her that way due to the experiment. (So it’s the perception of others that changed, rather than her.)

Okay, so I should probably back up and explain this is a fantasy romance. A woman from the future (about 2500 AD) is seeking a job promotion at work, and Miss Marie Kieker (our heroine) is the subject of the experiment she must run in order to get it. Since the woman is from the future, I decided to name her Tove because that strikes me as a futuristic sounding name. Anyway, Marie is granted the “what if I lived another life?” scenario. I love those in movies, so why not write a book with the same premise? There are no other fantasy aspects. I don’t know if you’d consider it more sci-fi, though, since I did elude to some technology that Tove uses (and Marie views as magic). Regardless, it’s sill primarily a historical romance. So I decided to change the tagline on the cover “What if you could guarantee true love?” That is the heroine’s main conflict. She wants to make sure she marries the right person. Up until the final chapter, I had the tagline “A Fantasy Romance”. I feel the new tagline best reflects the plot.

3. Another surprise for me is that this is a very sweet romance. This is G-rated. You could read this one to a child. You guys know I rarely write these types of romances. But this particular story only called for one kiss. One kiss is all we get. I originally thought there would be one sex scene. That’s why I was surprised. The way it ends is far better, in my opinion. To add any more would be unnecessary and dilute the effectiveness of that single kiss.

The Science of Love

I am going to try to make this a shorter book so it can get finished quicker. Since I don’t have the time to write as much as I used to, the other option I have is to create shorter books. I typically write 60,000 to 70,000-word books. When I am unable to write more than 1,000 words in the book each week, you can see how slow the progress goes. I’d like to get to where I write more like 30,000 to 40,000-word books. To do that, I need to start trimming the excess and focus more on the main plot. There are stories where I’ve gone to other scenes that don’t directly impact the plot, though it helped to flesh out the series. I noticed this book starting to take a turn that could have expanded it to excess, but I’m going to quickly snuff that out before it adds another 15,000 or so words to the book. It doesn’t have to be there, so it won’t be.

I’m close to 20,000 words so far, and we’re just getting to the point where the heroine is going to slip the experimental love potion into the hero’s drink. I am not sure if I can make the 40,000 goal at this pace. If it needs to go over, I’ll let it. I’m not going to rush a book just to get it done.

This book’s heat level is the opposite of Masquerade Bride, but this one needs a high heat level because the heroine’s main problem is that she doesn’t feel sexually desirable. (Her first husband took one look at her naked and annulled the marriage, so obviously, this is an area of uncertainty for her.) One question I hate answering is what kind of romances do I write. I don’t stick to just one type. I go where the story leads. Some characters need a lot of sex. Some need only one scene. And, once in a while, I run across a “kiss will do” scenario. That’s why I started putting this information into my book’s description. That way you can decide if it’s your kind of book or not.

The Preacher’s Wife has been on hold

(I still have not updated the cover, which is why one isn’t shown here.)

I haven’t written anything in it for at least a month, either. I’m sitting at 38,000 words. Technically, it follows The Wilderness Bride, but I have decided to make it a standalone. I have decided I will not do another book in this world. I simply don’t have the time. The plot I was going to use for Book 3 will just have to go into another book in the future. It’ll make a good standalone. I don’t need it to be a part of a series to make that plot work.

I might set this up at a duet series to go with The Wilderness Bride. If I do, I can still use the original cover. But I have time to debate on this.

The Horror Romance Project

I’ve been working on my horror romance in place of this book. That’s why we’re not seeing progress here. I know this is a contradiction, but The Preacher’s Wife is so intense with heavy themes that I had to put it on hold to write the horror romance. The horror romance is definitely intense. Hence the contradiction. I just need to play around with a different genre, and I do enjoy a well-done psychological horror story. This book focuses more on the psychological than any physical stuff, though I will have to start diving into the physical soon. Just last week, the first physical fight erupted. I’m 36,000 words into that one, and I suspect it will be 70,000 or so when it’s all done. I already have idea #2 for a horror romance, but I think that one will be 30,000 words or so.

These horror romances are not suitable for “Ruth Ann Nordin”, but I am finding that playing around in something different has made my “Ruth” books a lot stronger because I’m able to use my creative outlet in another area. I know there are authors that only write one thing and that’s it, but I need variety to stay fresh. This is why my books are all over the place.

Book 3 in Love Under Desert Skies Series

I have finally narrowed down the opening the scene. That’s what held me up from starting it. I didn’t want to start it with the characters leaving Quartzsite. After a lot of debate, I decided to start it when the group finds the woman in Flagstaff who is masquerading as Faye. When I finish up the edits to Masquerade Bride this month, I’ll have to decide whether to try to continue with The Preacher’s Wife or start this one. I haven’t decided that question yet. I still like having three books at a time to work on. Working on just one or two doesn’t work for me. Three is my sweet spot. Other authors will find that they work better with just one (or maybe two). This is totally a personal thing.

I think there’s a good chance I can make this one a 30,000-40,000-word book.

Non-Writing Stuff I Want To Address

I have made my Monthly Newsletter Blog private.

Since I can’t write faster right now, there’s no point in wasting people’s time by making those posts. I would have nothing new to share. If the situation ever changes and I can write more, I’ll put that blog public again. I think this blog and my email list is sufficient for now.

It turns out I’m okay. It was just stress.

I went through a round of testing in December, and all the tests came out negative. So I guess the incident I had was just a case of sleepwalking. I suspect it had to do with the amount of stress I was under. I do remember waking up that morning and feeling overwhelmed by everything I had to do. I was also sleepy and felt like I should go back to sleep. But I made myself start getting ready for the day. After that, things went fuzzy for me.

The incident hasn’t happened again, but I have since taken measures to lessen the stress in my life. This is why I only write 1-2 times a week now, and I only write 500 words per story (so about 3,000 words a week). I have renewed my walking schedule. I had been neglecting that. I listen to audiobooks to just be a reader, and that has helped to feed my creative mind while relaxing me. But I typically listen when I’m walking or cooking.

Cooking is probably the most relaxing hobby I’ve picked up. I went to the library and gathered a lot of cookbooks. I also invested in stuff to help making food prepping faster and easier. I want to use a lot of vegetables in my meals, and all that cutting with a knife can take a toll on the hand, arm, and shoulder. I used to hate cooking, but now I’m finding that love it. Who knew? I guess just because you didn’t like something in the past, it doesn’t mean you should rule it out for the future. I also find that cleaning the house relaxes me, and I can listen to audiobooks while doing that, too. So the time I used to spend writing is now being divided into other places. I do miss writing when I’m not doing it, but I have found I’m enjoying writing a lot more when I do get to it. And the other stuff has greatly lowered my stress. I didn’t realize that writing so much was adding to it.

You can tell yourself all day long that you’re writing what you love and that this is “not” a business, but I think having all of that “business” drilled into you sticks with you. I don’t mind saying that seeing the money not coming in like it used to does depress me, and I don’t have it in me produce more to get it back up. The walking, cooking, cleaning, and listening to books for pleasure, all help to keep me positive. So I focus more on those things than spending more time writing.

I recently stumbled across a YouTube video about how exhausting hustle culture is, and I caught parallels of the hustle culture epidemic and how things are in the writing world.

How many times are authors told that they must run their writing like a business? To run the business, we need to keep up-to-date on the latest improvements in packaging the book, such as formatting beautiful interior files for ebooks and paperbacks because a simple format isn’t good enough. We also need to keep up-to-date on the latest in promotional strategies because if we don’t, we might not get noticed in an oversaturated market. Of course, while juggling all of this, we need to constantly have new books coming out. No matter how much an author does (or has done in the past), the message is often, “It’s not enough.” To add insult to injury, if an author does make a living, there’s the thought that they should make more money. So even tangible success in the form of money does not eliminate the expectation that we should keep on doing more. Whatever you have done, it’s not enough. You will never truly “arrive”, and if you can’t “arrive”, you will never actually succeed. Any accomplishment you do achieve is temporary. There is no peace for one driven by the hustle culture mindset in the writing world.

The end result of this rabbit trail is exhaustion.

We are human beings. We are not machines. There comes a point when you have done all you can, and you can’t do any more. Some writers figure this out sooner than others, and they immediately take measures to balance out their lives. They don’t wait to hit burnout. Worse, they don’t try to push through burnout. They are smart. I wish I was one of them. Unfortunately, I’m not. I gave into the hustle culture mindset.

Every writer is going to be able to handle a different workload. Obviously. You have to figure out where you land on the spectrum of not enough to too much. You need to know where your balance lies. What I’m concerned about is how often a writer will have this gut feeling that it’s time to quit, and how quick other writers are to criticize them for it.

For example, I was in an author Facebook group earlier this month, and the poster was asking, “When is it okay to quit writing?” That was all the person said. We weren’t given any specifics about why they were asking the question. The responses the author received were more noteworthy than what prompted the person to ask the question in the first place because they demonstrate the mindset of the writing community. A small fraction of the authors said that yes, there are valid reasons why it’s okay to quit. Most of the writers, however, were adamant that there is never a good reason to stop writing. Half of them even wrote, “If you quit, you were never a writer to begin with.”

Let’s focus on that because this is why there is so much overwhelm and stress in the writing community. “If you quit, you were never a writer to begin with.”

Just how many books does a writer need to write to satisfy the definition of being a writer? One? Two? Ten? Twenty? How about 100? Is 100 enough to call it a day and stop writing? Why is writing the one venture where people are told they are failures if they quit writing, even though they have successfully finished and published book(s)? What other profession can you think of where someone is told they failed because they decided not to do it anymore? People quit other jobs all the time to do something else, and I don’t see them being shamed the way writers are.

With that aside, maybe you’re on the fence about whether or not you should quit. Here are some ideas on how to tackle this scenario.

1. Do you want to keep writing? If not, that is fine. It is not illegal to stop writing. Even if you wrote one thing that never got published, you are a writer. A writer doesn’t exist only when they are writing. The act of having written a story makes you a writer. We never tell an actor that they are no longer an actor when they are done making movies. We never tell a painter that they are no longer a painter when they are done with their canvas. Once your name is on that story, you are a writer. No one can take that accomplishment from you. (Now, to be a “published” writer, you obviously need to have at least one story published.)

2. Can you afford to keep writing? Are you sacrificing time spent with loved ones that you’ll never get back to produce more books? There has to be a balance. If you’re able to spend time with them and write, then you’re good to go. However, if you get no time with loved ones because you have to “crank out” the next book, then you might want to reconsider. Once that time is gone with loved ones, you’ll never get it back. (We aren’t guaranteed that we’ll have them around until they’re almost 100. So keep that in mind.) Also, can you balance your job and the writing? You have to pay the bills. If you can’t do both, then the job has to come first. (If the writing is paying the bills, then that’s a whole other source of stress to deal with, but for the sake of this post, we’ll say that you’re not reliant on your writing income.) The last area I’ll touch on is the emotional and physical toll writing can take on your life. Are you able to handle the stress that comes with trying to sell books? It is not easy to stay relevant in a world that is constantly changing. Writing income can be erratic. Can you emotionally deal with the uncertainty of it? Are you able to meet your physical needs and write? We can go for some time without exercise, but we aren’t meant to sit all day forever. We have to be mindful to keep moving or our bodies won’t work like they’re supposed to.

3. Do you need to adjust how you’ve been writing? Maybe you do want to keep writing, but you might have to find your balance. This might require you to slow things down. Maybe you have to relax and allow yourself time to rest. It’s better to do that than to end up sick. Don’t forget your health. Your body is just as important as your mind. How you feel will impact how, or if, you’re able to write. If you don’t make enough time to rest, your body will make you. (I know because it’s making me rest now.) I know that this is especially difficult for people driven to achieve things. I have found that cooking new recipes and doing more cleaning around the house has helped to offset the restlessness I feel if I just sit. I need to keep busy with something. I just had to replace the writing aspect because, whether other people realize it or not, writing is an active process that requires a lot from a mental standpoint. That mental work can’t be done nonstop. We aren’t machines. We need periods of rest to regain our creativity.

4. What do you want most out of life? This is more of a general question, but it’s one that is worth thinking through. Most of us will probably think, “I want to write. That’s why I’m a writer.” Let’s go beyond that. Let’s think more abstract. What overall thing would you like most in your life? For example, do you want more “peace”? Do you want more “focus”? Do you want more “meaning”? Do you want more “joy”? What is it that really means something to you deep down in your gut? What is the snapshot view of your life that would make you satisfied with the years you spent on this earth?

5. Once you figure out the answer to 4, then how can you go about getting it? What actions do you need to take to get that thing you want most? For example, say you’re always busy. Maybe you feel like you’re always being pulled in multiple directions. This has led you to feeling like your life is one chaotic mess. As a result, you want more “peace” in your life. What are things you need to let go of in order to ease that stress on your life? Granted, you can’t eliminate all sources of stress, but which ones can you remove? While you’re removing things, look at things you can add to replace the things you are removing. For example, if you’re the parent of a young child, you can’t remove the child. But maybe you need to spend less time on social media marketing your book. You can replace this with a relaxing activity you enjoy. If you love to walk, you can take the child on the walk with you. If you like to veg out on the couch and watch TV, you can do that with your child, too. In my personal life, my kids are now adults, so the young child thing no longer keeps me busy. But I am finding it necessary to remove some writing time because I can’t handle that workload anymore. I have had to replace it with cooking (which I recently found I actually enjoy; who knew?), and I also give myself 2-3 hours every day to unwind by watching a movie or some favorite TV shows. I know some would say that 2-3 hours spent on the TV is a waste of time. A few years ago, I would have been saying that, too. But given the current status of my physical and mental health, I need this time to decompress from the day so I can sleep better at night. That sleep allows me to heal in a lot of ways. Sorry to go on with my life, but I couldn’t think of anything else to help demonstrate my point on removing some stuff to gain more peace. Because my thing is “peace”. (Oh, I also stay away from arguments as much as possible. So if you find that you are stressed out by negativity, pulling yourself away from negative stuff is something I recommend. Insert stuff that is calming and positive instead.) I do believe it’s important to replace something when you take away something. That way we are intentional with our time.

I have talked with my doctor about the incident a couple weeks ago, and just in case anyone has an experience like that (where they seem to be dreaming with a partial awareness of the waking world around them), it’s a good idea to go to the Emergency Room of a hospital so they can run a scan of your brain to see what’s happening. Of course, you won’t drive yourself there. Someone else will drive you. So just let a loved one know this is the protocol if it happens to you. Also, if you know someone who suddenly acts strange for no known reason, it’s a good idea to get them to the ER as well.

On my end, I’ll be doing a CT Scan tomorrow and will also see a neurologist in February to rule out anything serious. I haven’t had an incident since, so it’s possible this won’t happen again, but I’d rather be safe and get tested. We didn’t test my mom early on, and she ended up needing a lung transplant. My father-in-law didn’t get his annual prostate exams and ended up finding the cancer when it was in stage 4. By then, it was too late to help either my mom or him. So I’ve learned to be proactive. This doesn’t eliminate bad things from happening, of course, but I think it increases your chances of having a better outcome in the long run.

Now, the annual physical did reveal a low white blood cell count on my end, so the doctor ran that again, and it’s still low. I will be seeing a Hematologist to see if we can find out what is going on there. From my initial look into things, this situation could stem from a wide range of issues, so I’m not even going to venture a guess on the root cause here. It could be related to what happened a couple of weeks ago, or it could be a separate issue.

I managed to write in two stories one time last week. That put me at 1,000 words total since I do 500 per story. My mind just doesn’t come up with much content like it does with some writers. Some writers can sit and write 5,000 words a day in just one story. I need more time to think of what happens next. I have rushed out stories, and I think I do my best work when I take it slow. But considering all the other stuff I have going on, I have to lower my expectations anyway. There are other things at play in my life, too. I have the deaf son who pretty much needs more support than my other kids who are independent at this point. I help them out when I can. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to turn the “mom” gene off no matter how old they get. Now I understand the sitcoms where the adult son has his mom bringing him chicken noodle soup when he’s sick. And, of course, I have my husband. A relationship needs to be watered in order to thrive. When I start publishing books, my kids weren’t even potty trained yet. I used to think when they were adults, I would have more time to write. That has not turned out to be true. The health stuff has propped up, and when your sons want to talk to you for a while to tell you what’s going on in their lives, you want to listen because you know it’s only a matter of time before they get married and will be busy. I am hoping I’ll get to spend time with grandchildren when they come along. I guess life is always busy in one way or another. It’s just the stage of busy-ness that we all find ourselves. Writing is still something I enjoy, but the older I get, the more I value the time with family and margin the house a home. Writing was a “job” for a good decade for me. Now I’m finding it has become more of a hobby again. As grateful as I am that I actually did make a living with the writing thing (something that was my dream back when I was 13), I am more grateful that I’ve been a wife and mother. God has greatly blessed me. Not to be morbid, but if I were to die tomorrow, my life would be complete. I have no regrets.

On a more uplifting note, I am going to post an update on where I am with my books, but I would like to make a little more progress in them first. 🙂