*As a disclaimer, I want to say that I’m not striving to be authentic in this trial. I have no interest in the details of how court cases are done, so I haven’t done any research in this area. What I know, I learned from the TV, and I think it’s safe to say that TV isn’t the most reliable method of research. So I plan to use the liberty of fiction while I’m doing these posts. 😀
Bailiff: Court is now in session. The Honorable Rick Johnson is presiding over the case of Ruth Ann Nordin versus Dave and Mary Larson. All please rise.
Everyone in the court: *stands*
Rick: *enters the courtroom and sits down* You may be seated. Bring Ruth on up.
Ruth: *goes to the chair at the front of the room and sits down*
Rick: Hey Ruth, before I forget, thank you for writing my story.
Ruth: You’re welcome. It was fun to write, Rick, especially since I got to know you better. I always wondered what made you fall in love with Sally.
Rick: Well, I think you did a great job.
Ruth: You know, it’s nice to be appreciated by one of my characters for a change.
Tom Larson (Dave and Mary’s lawyer): Objection!
Tom: The conversation you and Ruth are having is totally inappropriate for this case. Your book could interfere with the verdict. I suggest we get Judge Townsend to oversee the case instead so we can have a fair hearing.
Rick: I’m not part of the jury, Tom. I’m only here to promote order in the courtroom. *bangs gavel* Your objection is denied. Now, we’ll get this hearing underway. Joel, go ahead and ask your questions.
Joel Larson (Ruth’s lawyer): *walks over to her* Ruth, isn’t it true that you write because you enjoy it?
Ruth: Yep. It sure is.
Joel: And isn’t part of that enjoyment dependent upon whether or not the characters cooperate?
Ruth: It helps a lot if they do. Otherwise, I end up having to stop writing the story for a while or I end up having to rewrite something.
Joel: That sounds like a pain.
Ruth: It is.
Joel: But it isn’t just a problem when characters give you grief while writing the book. Isn’t it true that you suffer even when they bother you on this blog?
Ruth: That’s the worst kind of suffering, Joel. That is done right out in front of everyone. It’s embarrassing to have others see how much one or two of my characters are against me. It’s like airing out my dirty laundry in public, you know? *sniffles* And I try so hard to please them. I stay up late at night writing their stories, give up TV and movies so I can focus on them, and throw out my outline of the story in order to write it their way.
Rick: What is it now?
Tom: Those are fake tears Ruth is crying.
Ruth: They are not! They’re genuine. It’s why I have a tissue with me.
Rick: Ruth’s allowed to cry, Tom. Objection denied.
Tom: But she’s not serious about this. I mean, look at her clothes.
Joel: Her clothes have nothing to do with this case, Tom.
Rick: I can speak, Joel. Her clothes have nothing to do with this case, Tom.
Tom: Are you kidding me? If she’s serious about this, she’d be wearing one of those dress suits women wear in her time period. As it is, she looks like she’s going to a party after this hearing is over.
Rick: Objection denied, Tom. *bangs gavel* Now quit getting us off topic or I’ll hold you in contempt of court.
Tom: *grumbles but keeps quiet*
Rick: Go on, Joel.
Joel: *snickers at Tom and turns back to Ruth* I see you have your laptop with you.
Ruth: Yes. I always take my laptop wherever I go so I can work on a story when my characters are ready to tell me what to write next.
Joel: It’s sounds like you’re dedicated to them.
Ruth: I am. I am at their beck and call. I give up everything for them.
Joel: *nods in sympathy* You aren’t appreciated for all you do, especially by Dave and Mary.
Ruth: Don’t I know it! *sniffles* I think they take my work for granted. I mean, if Dave’s not trying to rewrite my books, he’s going around petitioning people to ban my books. And as if that’s not enough, he tries to gather all my other characters against me so I’ll get severe writer’s block and be unable to write.
Joel: And when all of that didn’t work, he created the union.
Ruth: Right. Then when only a psycho nymph fell for it, Mary got involved and told him to fake his own kidnapping. And out of concern for his well-being, I went to look for him. I wasn’t the way Joseph Connealy made me sound. I wasn’t on a rampage like some kind of lunatic. I asked Mary if I could look for him, and she said yes. I had permission. I didn’t trespass on their property. I’ve been framed by Dave and Mary to look like I was guilty. He was trying to gain sympathy points from everyone, and it worked with Owen Russell who arrested me and kept me in jail. And honestly, an 1800s jail with no plumbing is very disgusting. I didn’t have a flushing toilet, and I couldn’t wash my hands. When I finally got home, I had to take a shower three times and burned my clothes before I felt clean.
Joel: It sounds like that was a traumatic experience.
Ruth: It was! Really, Joel, what other author has to endure all of this?
Joel: I can’t think of any.
Ruth: Exactly. That’s why I have to sue Dave and Mary. I’m doing this to protect other authors from ever going through this with one of their psychotic characters. *sniffles*
Joel: I believe you’ve endured enough. I have no more questions for the victim.
Tom: *mutters* Don’t you mean drama queen?
Rick: *clears his throat and shoots Tom a pointed look*
Tom: *rolls his eyes*
Rick: Next time, we’ll let Tom question Ruth.
Stay tuned for Tom’s questions. 😀