Ruth: So after Malcolm sent in his resignation letter, Regan found out, and she’s not very happy.
Regan: “Not happy” is an understatement. I’m furious. Let me at him, Ruth! I got to knock some sense into him!
Malcolm: And people wonder why I sent that resignation letter? Just look at her. She’s wearing totally inappropriate clothes. Look at her. She looks like she belongs to a gang of bikers.
Regan: You have no concept of sexual desire, you dolt. A lady can come up to you, wearing absolutely nothing, and all you can think about is your stupid investments. I should be the one resigning from this farce of a book. People are going to wonder why I wanted to marry him since he’s so unlikable.
Malcolm: *gasps* Unlikeable? I’m completely likable. Ask anyone. Wait. Ask anyone who matters.
Regan: I happen to matter, Malcolm, and yes, you are unlikable. From the very moment we met, you’ve been difficult to be with. I’ve had to degrade myself by pretending to actually care about investments. But it’s gotten me nowhere. You’re no closer to coming to my bed than you were when we married.
Malcolm: Pretending? You mean you didn’t find that whole conversation about Mr. Raleigh’s shipping venture the least bit intriguing?
Regan: Some ladies fake it bed. I fake it with dull conversations.
Malcolm: I am appalled. Appalled, I say!
Regan: Not as appalled as I am! When I suggested doing something fun to a certain part of your anatomy, you showed no interest in it. You have the sexual desire of a cold fish. It would take me wearing a dress made of money for you to notice me.
Malcolm: That’s absurd.
Regan: It most certainly is not. This is what you look like whenever something involves money:
Malcolm: *gasps” I demand you remove that picture at once! I look nothing like that.
Regan: That’s exactly the way you are in this book. You wouldn’t dare show such interest if I paraded in front of you naked.
Malcolm: Ruth, now you see why I want out of this book. There is no reasoning with her. All she cares about is sex.
Regan: Making love, Malcolm. When a husband and wife get together, it’s called making love.
Malcolm: There is no decency in any of the things you want to do.
Joel Larson: You want to talk about decency? I’ll teach you about decency. Malcolm, when you post a picture of someone, at least make sure it’s not the beloved character from another series. I am not Logan. I’m Joel Larson, hero in Shotgun Groom, and the one character who made the Nebraska Series so much fun with my quick wit and fun personality.
Logan: Joel’s right. That is not my picture. This is me.
Logan: Way better, if I say so myself.
Joel: If you like the bored look, I suppose that works. But that’s not the point. The point is, the Larson family is practically a household name. We are the centerpiece of all of Ruth’s books. Malcolm, how could you not know you ripped off a picture of me?
Ruth: This is the picture Joel is talking about:
Joel: Yes, that’s the one! It originally showed up in the post where my brother Dave made a super lame ending to Isaac’s Decision. Go on and check it out. That was written back in October 22, 2011. That was almost four years ago! Words can’t describe how violated I feel to find out I’ve been used as another character.
Malcolm: To be fair, no one even remembers who you are. There hasn’t been a single Larson book out for what…forever?
Joel: His Convenient Wife just came out at the beginning of this year. It featured Harriett Larson, my own niece. I tended to her when she got sick after spending a night in a storm. I was in that book, you dimwit. In fact, the Larsons have popped up in more than the Nebraska Series. We’ve been in the Montana Collection (specifically in Boaz’s Wager) and in standalones like Catching Kent and His Convenient Wife. Our first book came out in 2009 with Eye of the Beholder, and we’ll have another one out next year with Wagon Trail Bride, which begins the Pioneer Series.
Richard Larson: Joel’s right. This means the Larsons will have shown up, in one form or another, in a total of three series and two standalones. No other group Ruth’s written can claim that. And to celebrate, I want to show the awesome cover Stephannie Beman made for my book:
Richard: I think I join everyone else in saying, “It’s about time!” I was beginning to feel like the forgotten older brother named Chuck on a popular TV show called Happy Days. He was in a couple of early episodes, went to play basketball, and was never seen again. But thankfully, I didn’t suffer the same fate. Now that the book is coming out, it’s like Christmas!
Richard: Except, my book won’t be out at Christmas. It’s actually going to be out on January 3. But you can pre-order through the links at this book launch page! Then you don’t have to keep trying to remember when it’s due out. It’s not on Kobo or Barnes & Noble yet, but hopefully, it will be soon.
Regan: Seriously? Since when did this become a huge plug for someone else’s book? I forbid you to spam your book on my blog post. We were talking about His Wicked Lady. You remember. This book? This is the book we need to be focusing on:
Malcolm: And she acts just like the way she looks on that cover through the entire book. It’s all “ooh, Malcolm’s nothing but a sex toy.” She doesn’t care a single thing about me as a person.
Regan: Then give me something worth caring about.
Malcolm: Money can buy a lot of nice things.
Regan: But it can’t buy happiness.
Ruth: Don’t you two worry about a thing. You’ll find happiness by the end of the book.
Regan: I find that hard to believe.
Malcolm: It’s true because I still quit. Ruth will have to find another boy toy for you to play with. *leaves*
Regan: Please let me use the bat to knock some sense into him.
Ruth: No, I can’t let you hurt him. We’ll figure another way to get him to stop protesting his fate.