LOL So Dave Larson submitted his rewrite of my book. I admit I’m shocked. I mean, I expected him to submit something, but I had no idea how much of a to-the-point kind of guy he is. I’m just going to have to post this so you know what I mean, and then I’ll bring him in here so I can talk to him about it.
Below is what he wrote. This is taken from the scene right after Eva came over for supper at the Larson house. In case you haven’t read the scene, I did post it awhile back. Here’s the link if interested: https://ruthannnordinauthorblog.wordpress.com/2011/09/28/dave-larson-plays-matchmaker-and-isaacs-not-happy-about-it/.
Okay. This is the scene (and rest of the book) that Dave wrote. It takes place after the supper with Eva Connealy:
Isaac wasn’t sure if listening to his father was a good idea. But he knew his father had his best interest at heart, so he decided to take Eva home without any of his brothers or sisters tagging along. He took Eva home, and they had a wonderful conversation. He thought that maybe his father was right and he would give Eva a second chance.
When they arrived at her home, her father asked him if he wanted to visit for awhile, and he agreed. Isaac had such a good time, he asked Eva if he could court her. She said yes but said she couldn’t officially be courted until after her teaching contract was over. Soon enough, it was, and they did. By the end of the year, they were married and lived happily ever after because she was a good wife who was a lot like his mother and he had a wonderful mother.
See what I mean about how “to the point” Dave is? That was it. That’s how he’d have the rest of the entire book go.
Dave: What’s wrong with that? Isaac ends up happy with Eva. That’s all you need to know.
Ruth: No, it isn’t. You basically gave a summary of the book.
Dave: I don’t understand what you mean by “summary”.
Ruth: What I mean is that you did was tell. You did absolutely no showing.
Dave: Isn’t that what a story is? You tell what happens to the characters?
Ruth: While you can use some telling, you can’t tell the entire thing. You need dialogue and action, too. Otherwise, how are we supposed to be convinced Isaac really did fall in love with Eva?
Dave: What’s to convince? She’s the better choice.
Dave: Well, it beats your tactic. All you did was come into the interviews with all sorts of threats. Like it did you any good. You had to marry April anyway.
Joel: Hey, I’ll have you know that I’m very happy with the way Shotgun Groom ended. Ruth is a master storyteller.
Dave: Oh sure, you say that now. But for awhile there, you were petitioning all her characters to go on a strike so she’d get writer’s block and be unable to finish your story. Then you emailed a few readers and requested 1-star reviews for the book if it was ever published.
Joel: So I did a couple of crazy things. I have since removed my petition to all characters–none signed it anyway–and apologized to those readers. I admitted I was wrong, and everything’s cool now. *grins wickedly* In fact, things are great.
Ruth: I’m glad to hear you’re happy with April.
April: We’re very happy. I admit I didn’t think you could pull it off when you started Shotgun Groom, but you did. After my horrible first marriage, I doubted the one with Joel would be good, but he’s so much better than Harvey.
Joel: Tell them the best part, sweetie.
April: What’s that?
Joel: How good I am in bed.
Dave: This isn’t about you two. It’s about my son. I’m trying to give him a good wife so can be happy. And ick! No one care how you are in the bedroom, Joel.
Joel: *rolls eyes* Sure, Dave. You requested at least three sex scenes in To Have and To Hold. I only got two in my book.
Dave: Because no one cares about your sex life.
Joel: And they care about yours?
Dave: Well, they did want a second book featuring me.
Joel: That doesn’t mean they want to read bedroom scenes featuring you and–
Ruth: Enough. I write sex scenes when, and as, they seem to fit into the story. The first thing a writer needs to learn is let the story lead him/her. And Dave, this is where you also messed up. You didn’t let the story go in the direction it wanted to. You forced it to bend to your will.
Joel: Tom’s right. Ruth can work miracles. Why, because of her, Tom found a wife. That wouldn’t have happened otherwise.
Tom: You know what, Joel? Under ordinary circumstances, that comment would bother me, but we’re coming close to Thanksgiving and Christmas, so I’m determined to stay positive.
Joel: Is that what you call those goofy glasses and that Santa hat? Staying positive?
Tom: Nothing beats you in swim trunks. That was the goofiest picture of all times. Just for kicks, I’m going to post it so everyone can get a good laugh all over again.
Joel: Thanks, April.
April: Of course, I prefer you with those off.
Joel: Have I told you how much I love you?
April: You might have mentioned it a time or two, but I don’t mind hearing it again.
Dave: This has got to be the stupidest interview ever written. Ruth, if you don’t like the way I wrote the story, then why don’t you go back and rewrite it so there’s the showing you prefer.
Ruth: I can only write the book as it’s meant to go. I can’t give Isaac to Eva. He’s been meant for Emily ever since Eye of the Beholder. I keep telling you that, but you refuse to listen. Hasn’t the scene where you learn that he eloped with Emily opened your eyes to this reality yet?
Dave: But the book hasn’t been published yet. Anything can happen.
Tom: It’ll be alright, Dave. Emily’s not going to bolt on Isaac. She won’t do all the awful things you fear. Remember, Ruth writes romances, not horror stories.
Joel: Yeah. Isaac will be just fine. You need to stop worrying and just trust the author to do her job.
April: I agree. Sit back and enjoy the story as she’s writing it.
Sally: David, this is crazy. You’re the only person I know who’d go through the trouble of trying to rewrite a book. You could be spending time with Mary instead. We all know how much you get jealous of the time you get to spend with her. I swear, when you were first married, you had that “no one sees her for an entire month except for one day” thing going on. Chill out.
Dave: That’s not fair, Sally. I only wanted to spend that month with her because I just married her. You get to see her plenty now.
Sally: Well, great. So Jenny and I’ll go shopping with her today. April, want to join us?
Jenny: I got some money to burn. Let’s have a girl’s day out. Ma Larson said she’d watch all our kids. And Dave, don’t sweat it. If I could end up happily married to a man who wasn’t who I thought he was, then you won’t have any problems with Isaac and Emily. Remember, the point to romance is that it’s a romance. Emily wouldn’t be the heroine if she wasn’t going to be good to Isaac. Think of all the other stories she’s going to write which will feature Isaac’s younger brothers and sisters. She’s going to bring Isaac and Emily back in, and they’re going to be happy with a kid or two or even half a dozen.
Sally: Well said, Jenny. Now can you relax, David?
Dave: I hope Ruth writes about your children so you understand how scary it can be to worry whether or not your children will end up with the right person.
Ruth: I will write about everyone’s children. You and Neil just happen to be the first ones up. I expect the Nebraska Series to expand to a good 30+ books.
Dave: If you want to delay Isaac’s story so you can to write those others, that would be fine with me.
Ruth: Nice try, Dave, but it isn’t going to happen. Isaac’s story is due to come out in January, so I need to get it done soon. Speaking of which, I better run and write.
Dave: You’ll consider my ending, though, right?
Ruth: Nope. *leaves*
Dave: Ruth? I can reword it if it’ll make any difference. Ruth?
Tom: Oh give up already. She’s not going to marry Isaac to Eva.
All but Dave: *leave*
Dave: I’ll submit a rewrite. I really think we can work something out.