The last two posts on this blog have featured me.  I was giving everyone a flavor for my acting style.  But after seeing the posts, my husband hung his head in shame and pleaded with me to remove them.  I decided to bring him onto this blog.  (Note: He really didn’t agree to an interview.  The truth is, I’m doing this without him knowing about it, something I’m sure which will further embarrass him, but I thought it’d be funny to pretend he’s here.  We’ll call him DH for Dear Husband.)

Ruth: So, I hear you weren’t all that happy about the videos I did.

DH: You heard?  I was sitting right there when you were playing them on your computer.  You were showing it to our kids and laughing.  But Ruth, seriously, this is not funny.

Ruth: I thought it was funny.

My husband hiding his identity to protect the reputation of him and our kids in case someone we know happens to see these string of embarrassing videos.

DH: But just because you think it’s funny, it doesn’t mean it really is.  I only say this because I love you and want to do everything possible to protect your reputation: please, please, focus on writing.  It’s what you’re best at.

Ruth: I love writing.  I’m not going to give it up.  You have nothing to worry about.  And Janet Syas Nitsick isn’t going to make her next book into a movie.  When we were at the writing conference a couple weekends ago, we took a workshop on vlogging.  In it, the speaker said more people are likely to pay attention to a video instead of read a blog post.  I thought I’d test out the theory.

DH: In order for that to work, the video has to be interesting.  In your case, it’s not.  I can’t believe Janet went along with you on this crazy idea.

Ruth: Janet did it because she’s a good sport…and I pretty much dragged her into it with presents of mochas and European chocolates.  *rubs stomach* I’m still in chocolate overload from all the sweets we had–and I thought I had a high tolerance for all things sweet!

DH: *shakes head* I agreed to watch the kids so you could go visit Janet and go to the conference.  You were gone for two weeks.  You were supposed to get a lot of writing done, not play around with the iMovie feature on your computer.

Ruth: But I did write.  I finished the first draft of His Wicked Lady, and (in case anyone is interested), Malcolm Jasper pulled it off.  He did provide some steamy sex scenes.  I was pleasantly surprised.

DH: See?  That’s what I’m talking about.  Right now you could be at 35,000 words in The Convenient Mail Order Bride instead of only 27,000 words.

Ruth: I know, but I was having so much fun with the videos.  I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants.

DH: No one wants to hear that last part, Ruth.

Ruth: It’s the truth.  If nothing else, these series of videos will serve as a reminder of the fun times Janet and I had while I was in Nebraska.

My husband is now convinced he can’t leave the home unless he has a bag over his head.

DH: Series of videos!  You mean you did more than that audition?

Ruth: Yeah.  Next week, Janet will give her response to my audition.  Then we’ll exchange a couple of pictures using common things like a can of hair spray, a “Bump” construction sign, a “Stop” sign, a second audition tape (with bloopers), and a lead into A Groom’s Promise, and then a final video.  The whole thing will go on until the end of the year!

DH: Are you daft?  No one wants to see all that?  It’s bad enough you put up this audition and then the bloopers.  You plan to keep up this ridiculous “I want to be an actress gig” for the next two months?

Ruth: Technically, it’s only a month-and-a-half because we do devote a couple posts to the characters in A Groom’s Promise.

DH: For the love of all that is good and decent in this world, delete all of those posts at once and just go into the promotion for A Groom’s Promise.

Ruth: I would except Janet and I had so much fun doing them.

DH: No one cares.  This is crazy.  You’re going to drive people away from this blog.  People will be so scared they’ll be subjected to more of these embarrassing things and unfollow you.  You’re going to lose readers over this.  No one wants to be known as the person who reads books by that psychotic writer who thinks she can make fun videos.

Ruth: Oh sure, they will.  If they want, they can skip them and only read the posts that interest them.  That is what makes blogs so handy.  People don’t read every single post.  They read the headline and decide whether or not they want to find out more about the particular topic I’m working on.

DH: The title “I’m going to be an actress” is misleading. It makes it sound like you really got in with a Hollywood producer.

Ruth: I thought it was a cute title.

DH: It was misleading.  It should have been, “I’m auditioning for a role in Janet’s next book.” (Though we all know it’ll never be made into a movie.  You two aren’t exactly Janette Oke or Danielle Steel.)

Ruth: I know that, and Janet knows that.  But it’s fun to pretend.

DH: Keep the pretending to your books.  Please.  I’m begging you.  Our kids need to face their friends at school.  I’d like for them to avoid being picked on because of this.

Ruth: It’s okay, sweetie.  None of their friends or their friends’ parents ever read my stuff.  They don’t even know what I write.  This secret is safe.

Ruth’s husband’s final plea before he gives up and leaves

Ruth: Something tells me he’s not convinced this isn’t the end of the world.

****

Photo credits (Pictures all purchased at Dreamstime.com)

Man in shadows: ID 49773084 © Christefme | Dreamstime.com

Man with bag on head: ID 37563364 © Loganban | Dreamstime.com

Man with help sign: ID 19239343 © Tom Wang | Dreamstime.com