For the past week, I have been having such a difficult time writing. As some of you know, I write three books at a time. I do this in hopes of being able to work on at least one book if I get stuck in one or two of them. Working on more than one book doesn’t always work, though.

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been trying to strategize how I’m going to get the main characters in The Hero Least Likely to apprehend the outlaws who are terrorizing Arizona. I realize I’m stuck on this point because I don’t plot. But I can’t plot like some authors can. Every time I have sat down to plot out a book, the story goes off the rails within a chapter or two. It’s as if the characters are saying, “We will not follow your orders, Ms. Author.” My characters are a lot like my kids. They have minds of their own and will do whatever they want. I know that sounds crazy to some people out there. I’ve heard the videos and have read the posts where other authors say, “Authors who claim that characters have a mind of their own are crazy because that mind belongs to the author.” Well, yes, it is my mind, but I swear, these characters feel like they really are separate people who will do whatever they want.

When I write, the story plays out like a movie in my head. As long as I write what is happening on the “screen”, things flow smoothly. I never know how a scene is going to play out until I’m writing it. I can guess. Sometimes I have a better idea of what I’m getting myself into when I sit at the computer, but I really never know how things will go. And this is why I’m surprised when people tell me something in my book was “predictable”. Except for the characters falling in love and ending up together, it wasn’t predictable to me. I wish I had seen this stuff coming because it would have saved me a lot of time while I waited for the characters to clue me into what they were planning.

Like this book I’m trying to finish up, The Hero Least Likely.

Not only was the cover a pain in the butt to finally get right, but now I’m at a standstill in the final two chapters. I think I only have two more chapters to go. Three at the most. I should have known when I had to go back and rewrite part of the beginning that this was going to be one of those books that is painful to write. I know where I need to end up, but I don’t know how to get there. I’ve been creating a map in my head of this town and laying out where the key characters need to be. I know there is one character who will be tied up. Another is going to need help with the rescue. Then there’s one who has to end up saving them all–not outright saving the day but doing enough so that these outlaws will finally be arrested.

I think a lot of my frustration comes from the fact that I am not an “action” kind of writer. These scenes are not that interesting to me. This is like a western movie. While the grasp of the time period is good to see, I honestly am not a big fan of western action-packed films unless it’s heavily laced with romance. Which most are not. But the plot demands I do this. And the characters are not helping me figure out what to do in order to get past this block.

The worst part is that since I’m stuck here, my creativity took a huge nosedive. It’s impacting my ability to write the other two books I’m working on.

Ironically, I’m not stuck in these other two books. I know what the characters want, though I am hitting a crucial element in The Earl’s Bluestocking Bride. I have to get the right balance between teasing the reader about the “big reveal” while satisfying the romantic requirements that come before “the big reveal”. In The Preacher’s Wife, I have figured out the hero–his motivation for what he does and what he most wants. But now I have to start layering the foundation for the romance between him and the heroine so that they fall in love before I disrupt their world. I don’t know why, but because I can’t finish The Hero Least Likely, I am unable to proceed with the other two books.

I think I have to step away from all writing in order to see things more clearly. So I’m going to do that. I was originally hoping to have The Hero Least Likely out in May, but that might not even happen at the rate things are going. This will push back the other books as well. I really need to get started on the Marriage by Holiday Series because those books need to come out for Halloween, Christmas, and Valentine. I don’t have the luxury on delaying those. I’m thinking The Preacher’s Wife will have to take a bit of a backseat.

One of the myths about storytelling is that it’s easy. Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes it is. Sometimes the words just flow. But there are other times when it’s like pulling teeth every single step of the way to get something out, and when that happens, it can block all other creative efforts.

I’m not going to force this. I would have forced it in the past, and that helped lead to burnout. One thing I promised myself when I got back into writing was that I would never do things that lead to burnout ever again. I’m slowly learning what things trigger burnout. Forcing one’s way into finishing a story that isn’t ready to be done is one of them. Doing things you hate for a long period of time is another one. Rapid releasing is another way to burnout. This isn’t just rapid releasing for books. It is rapid releasing for anything–like blog posts, social media posts, ads, and videos.

If you’re going to survive this writing thing for the long run, you have to do stuff you love and you have to spend time doing stuff you enjoy. I am tired of chasing the latest marketing trends. I am tired of trying to sell books. All I want to do is write them. I want to have fun with this. I love blogging. I love being on Facebook with people who have become my friends over there, though I do get drained when I put myself out there too much on social media. It takes a lot of me to be socially “on” with others. The truth is, I’m an introvert who is pretty awkward in social situations. I feel like what I say is stupid, but I realize I have to put myself out there anyway, so I do. I do it because I want people who enjoy the kind of books I write to find them. There’s magic when someone comes across an author who writes stories that speak to them. Case in point, I recently discovered a fan fiction series by someone who gets the mindset of the characters in a popular series. It’s been so rewarding for me to read these stories. I read the published series, and I have seen the movies. But this fan fiction work has added more layers to the whole scope of the characters, the world, and events that take place. And that has created a kind of magic that reminds me of how important stories can be. It reminds me of why I fell in love with reading when I was 12. If you can get someone excited about reading, you’ve done your job as an author.

So anyway, to wrap this up, we’ll get there with The Hero Least Likely. One way or another, it does always work out in the end. I have 101 romances under my belt. This isn’t the first time I’ve run into this kind of frustration. I’m tempted to bring the characters in on the blog and ask them what they are thinking by holding things up. We’ll see if that will help things come along, but I’m not ready to make such a post today.