Ruth Ann Nordin To Sue Dave and Mary Larson

by Joseph Connealy

In what has to be a first for authors everywhere, Ruth Ann Nordin has decided to sue Dave and Mary Larson for pain and suffering.

Ruth Ann Nordin as you’ve never seen her before.

“I’ve had to endure Dave Larson’s ridiculous tactics for the past year, and his latest stunt over this kidnapping thing was the last straw,” Ruth said.  “Not only is it a first for an author to be suing a character, but have you ever heard of a character who is horrible enough to fake their own kidnapping with their wife’s help and then list me as one of the suspects?  I mean, come on!  This time Dave stooped to a new low.”

Among Ruth’s complaints are time spent away from writing her books so she could write blog posts on Dave’s kidnapping, time spent in jail because Owen Russell wouldn’t let her find proof that Dave was hiding in the loft the entire time, and countless emails from Dave’s fans who demanded she return him at once.

“And why are we using that picture of me?” Ruth demanded.  “It’s awful for my image.  I urge you to remove it at once!”

Moving on to the other side of the story, Dave and Mary Larson were able to offer a response to the charges against them.

“I don’t see what pain and suffering Ruth’s had to endure,” Mary said.  “She was able to get two more books published in May.  It wasn’t like we rendered her unable to be productive at all.”

“People say I overreact to things, but Ruth takes the cake on this one,” Dave added.  “No one told her to come to our time and ransack my house and barn like a lunatic.  That was all her doing, and if you ask me, she needs to check up with a psychokenestiastialogist or something.”

“He means psychologist,” Mary said.

“Right.  I guess.”

As of right now, Judge Rick Johnson has agreed to preside over the case.  Joel Larson has agreed to act as Ruth’s lawyer, and Tom Larson has agreed to act as Dave and Mary’s lawyer.  It is rumored that Owen Russell and Sally Johnson are among the witnesses who will give their side of the story.  Other witnesses may come forth in the weeks ahead.

The verdict will be decided by the good people reading this blog.  😀  So be sure to keep up-to-date on the testimonies as they’re posted.